Reflections from March 30, 2022 – Day 19 of my journey.

Reflecting on this day — more than 1,000 days since we said goodbye to Max — I can see how easy it is to slip back into the routine. I catch myself some mornings not wanting to get out of bed, speaking doubt over my own life, weighed down by the challenges that keep coming. But in the middle of all that heaviness, a truth keeps echoing in my heart: if it’s hard, it’s worth it.

We all face our own version of “hard.” For me, after losing Max, it was the crushing weight of grief and the haunting question: Would my wife and I ever get to have the family we dreamed of? At that time, even daring to hope felt impossible.

But fast forward to today — God has blessed us with two beautiful children. That reality reminds me that even in the darkest valleys, even when you feel like your future has been stolen, there can still be light ahead. What once felt impossible can become the very testimony you never imagined you’d have.

The German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” That resonates with me deeply. My “why” is my son, Maxwell Seraphim. He is the reason I sit here and write, the reason that more than 1,200 days later, I remain committed to becoming 1% better every day.

So why do I share these posts? Because they are my therapy. They help me process the journey I’ve been walking for over three years now. But just as much, I share them with the hope that someone who feels buried under their own grief might stumble upon these words and realize: you are not alone.

Sometimes we don’t find the path — sometimes, the path finds us. It shows up in the middle of the storm, often through pain, loss, or heartache, and it quietly asks us if we’re willing to keep going.

I hope you say yes. I hope you keep walking. And I hope you discover your why — because once you do, you’ll never look back.