Reflections from March 29, 2022 – Day 18 of my journey.

At first glance, the phrase “When you find your why, the how is easy” sounds simple. Your why defines your how. But the truth is, finding your why can be one of life’s most difficult challenges.

Some people go through life never fully understanding their why. Some, sadly, never find it. And some may see it pass them by without ever realizing its significance.

For me, discovering my why—my son, Maxwell Seraphim—didn’t come immediately after we lost him. In the weeks that followed his passing, I was lost in grief, asking myself, How will I ever get through this? It was through that deep sorrow, and what I believe were divine signs, that I was gently led toward the realization: My son Max is my why. That sacred recognition changed my life forever.

Why do I continue to share my journey? Because I hope that in doing so, I might spark something in someone else—a flicker of hope, a sliver of strength, a sense of purpose in the midst of pain. If you’re walking through something similar, or simply searching for light in a dark moment, I want you to know: you’re not alone. I’m not anyone extraordinary—but I’ve come to know that when your why reveals itself, the how will follow.

For me, the how began with holding myself accountable—committing each day to becoming stronger in body and mind. That commitment became the foundation for rebuilding my life.

Now, looking back more than 1,200 days later, I can say with honesty: staying true to that journey every day hasn’t been easy. Life has become more complicated. Beautifully so. I’ve been blessed with two amazing children since Max—and that blessing has ignited a new fire inside me. One that drives me to stay true not only to my journey, but also to my family.

Balancing both is not easy. At times, it can feel overwhelming. But it is also deeply rewarding.

In those difficult moments, I return to my why. I remember that the how will evolve as life moves forward. Because life does move on. But your why—your true, unshakable purpose—never leaves you.

Hold onto it. Let it fuel you. Let it light the fire that will guide your path—one step, one day at a time.