Reflections from March 28, 2022 – Day 17 of my journey.
We all face delays in life.
We don’t get the job we had our heart set on.
A relationship we believed in falls apart.
We struggle in school, at work, or simply to stay afloat.
And in those moments, we ask—Why?
Why would God allow this if He wants what is good for me?
For me, the most devastating delay—what felt like the ultimate denial—was losing my son, Maxwell Seraphim.
He was stillborn at 28 weeks, and in that moment, my world shattered.
The pain of being denied the chance to meet, hold, and raise our firstborn child was almost too much to bear.
The grief was suffocating. I couldn’t imagine how my wife and I would ever move forward—let alone build the family we dreamed of.
How do you rebuild when your heart has been broken into pieces?
But what I’ve come to realize—slowly, painfully, and truthfully—is that sometimes the denials we face are not the end of the story.
Sometimes, they are the beginning of a transformation.
God never promises that our lives will be free of pain. But through Scripture, He reminds us that His timing is never wrong—even when it feels impossibly delayed.
“For the vision is yet for an appointed time… though it linger, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay.”
— Habakkuk 2:3
“When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen.”
— Isaiah 60:22
These verses remind us: A delay is not a denial.
It is preparation.
It is foundation-building.
It is, sometimes, the fertile ground where purpose begins to grow.
I will never say that losing Max “happened for a reason.” But I will say this: his short life changed mine forever.
His passing set me on a path I never could have imagined.
Today, Max is my why. He is the foundation of my purpose and the fuel behind every message I write.
Because of him, I found a fire inside of me that refuses to go out.
His impact lives on in this blog, in my voice, and in my mission.
And in just about a year, I’ll graduate with my Master’s in Social Work from Rutgers—something I never would have dreamed of pursuing had Max not transformed my life.
So why do I share this?
Because if I can find my why in the darkest moment of my life, then I believe you can too.
You don’t need to wait for a perfect moment.
Your why might come disguised in heartbreak, in hardship, or in silence.
But when it comes—embrace it. Let it guide you. Let it ignite something within you that refuses to quit.
This is the essence of finding your why—recognizing that within your greatest struggles lie the seeds of resilience, purpose, and renewal.
You can grow through what you go through.
You can write your own story.
And when things feel too heavy to carry, return to your why—and let it carry you.
From Loss to Legacy 
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